Week 3 is Here and off to a great start!!!

Just to document me and Alex's Sam's trips, this is a sign we pass on the way there!

So our third week of campers got here yesterday and it's going great! As of now I'm sitting in the outpost while the kids are at free time! Me and Alex really aren't that busy so I thought I would update you all on what's going on!

On my day off this past sunday me and Alex decided to make the day out of our Sam's trip by hitting the mall before. We ate at this really cute bistro/coffee/wine place in Clayton called Grapes and Beans. IT WAS SO GOOD!!


After that we hit the Mall of Georgia and then Sam's and then drove home! I really love working with Alex Willey. She really is making this summer awesome.


The last 2 weeks I had the blessing of once again getting to hang out with Fr. Paul Salemi and he just left yesterday, but while he was here I got to go to spiritual direction with him, and it was much needed. And now I know that I need a spiritual director.

At the beginning of the summer I was faced with the question during Reconciliation of "Do you love God?" just with everything I've been going through with my relationship with the Lord lately I couldn't answer that question. I didnt want to say no because I could remember times where I had been in love with the Lord but I didn't want to say yes because I knew It would have been a lie. The priest sense my unsureness of my answer so as my penance he had me stare at a crucifix and ask the Lord if He loved me.

I think this is a good crucifix to
stare at for a while!

It sucks because I'm still trying to see/find the answer to that question. But it really made me think back onto the entirety of my spiritual journey. I have been going on retreats and to camp since I was 10ish and I have always been told that the Lord loves me so I would just believe it without question. But when you start seeking out the Lord's heart you can't help but realize that it's not something you can just be told and sucked into believing, but you need to experience that love for yourself. I NEED TO EXPERIENCE THAT LOVE FOR MYSELF! I need to get my joy from the Lord. I need to not be afraid of the plans he has for me.

There is a line from a Josh Ritter song that really has been making me look back on my life and my past religious experiences. In Golden Age of Radio it says, "Have mercy on this boy he did it all by the books But still kind of has his doubts,"

This really is what I've been struggling with lately. But I realize that it's time that I find out all of these things on my own. It really is amazing to see how the Lord is calling me to grow up in my faith. But also I do realize that my doubts whatever they maybe are just a desire to search for the heart of the Lord!

Through my discipleship with Sara Vasile and spiritual direction with Fr. Paul I really am realizing these things. And what a better place to be at then Covecrest to start figuring these things out. Zero distractions and holiness is so accessible. Now I just have to do it! And I really am so ready. I know the Lord has so much more in store for me and I can't wait.

Sara asked me during discipleship after I explained to her how abandoned by the Lord and lost from Him I had been feeling she asked me if my heart was ok. After she asked this I tried to answer but ended up just crying. I guess I just hadn't been asked this question since last summer and really just missed it. And also just to have that special person, like Sara, to care about my heart and understand that I am hurting and upset about this abandonment and lack of acknowledgment from the Lord. And I am so glad it was Sara who saw my hurt and knew that the question of my heart needed to be talked about.

Even though I feel like I'm not growing I know I am. Every time I receive the Eucharist I know that it changes me even if it's just a small change, it's growth and that makes me so excited to see the person I will be at the end of the summer.

Ok so that was really a lot. But I'm glad I got it all out there. So yeah...here it is.
Love and miss you all and remember to embrace the grace!!

My God and my King be my everything!
-Erin